It has been too long...
Too long since I went to my hairdresser
Too long since I went a full day without pulling
Too long since I had someone remind me not to pull
Too long since I could wear a hat to keep me from pulling
Too long since I had a record-breaking time without pulling
Too long since I had long, beautiful hair not threatened by Trich
Too long since I posted on this blog...
First the excuse:
I was trying to figure out how to put up an audio clip from my phone. It was a great way of sharing how I felt about a situation that happened regarding hair. Once I figure it out, I will post it, but it may be a while. Just realize that chronologically it would fall before this post.
Second the blog post:
This week I came up with a new tactic! My watch (which I wear ALWAYS, including in bed and the shower) has a stopwatch on it. Everytime I pull a hair, I reset the timer. This makes me even more aware of each time I pull, as well as showing me how long it has been since the last one. Often it was only 10 minutes, but then other times it would be multiple hours. This gave me more hope! One day I got up to 10 hours, including sleeping, and I determined that I had to break that small record.
This past Friday was National Hat Day, so teachers were allowed to wear hats. I LOVE HATS, and they help a lot with pulling. Needlesstosay, I wore one. Around 9 am, I pulled out a hair and reset the timer. As the day progressed, I checked the timer sometimes to see how long it had been. Sometimes I forget and think it's been longer than it has, but that day my memory was correct!
I lasted 32 hours!!! This started in the morning, lasted all day, I slept, and then it lasted most of Saturday as well!
Once I did pull, it was hard to stop for a while. Honestly, I've had trouble going very long since I broke the long streak (for example, I'm up to 8 minutes right now), but 32 hours was super encouraging. I haven't had anything like that in a long time! Hope has returned yet again!!! :D
Thank you for checking on me and encouraging me when you can. This is a hard battle, but the Lord is with me so it is possible! Hard truth to remember in the moment, but that does not make it any less true. I refuse to be a practical atheist: one who believes in God yet lives as if one does not believe. Too many Christians are practical atheists... we do not trust- not really. We want help now and in the way we expect, then He can leave us be until we need His assistance again. He doesn't want to be there just when I am stuck. He will never leave us nor forsake us. He is NOT the last resort. He is all I have! Not last, not first, ALL of it. Anything I try is in His strength, anything I fail is in His protective arms and wisdom, anything I succeed in is Him working through me!
May the Lord make His presence and direction ever clear to you.
May it not be too long until we understand and truly believe this.
May it not be too long until we see His glory.
May it not be too long until we are free!
