Roller Coaster

... It sounds just like the title implies ...

This week has been quite the roller coaster- up and down with lots of variety. Some big ups and some big downs and then smaller ones in between. I'm just getting exhausted... run down- always keeping my guard up- constantly being aware of what my hands are doing- trying to keep them active positively.

The times when it's easiest are when I'm playing music (not on the radio, but on an instrument) and when I'm with my close friends. When I'm playing my hands are active and my brain is fully engaged. In the breaks- like marking my music and switching songs and stuff- I have problems, but when I am in the act of playing, it's not an issue. Around my friends, I feel so ashamed and embarrassed to pull. It helps that he's a fidgety person. I feel more at ease to fidget with things, so I don't pull!

Anyway, I've been hanging out a lot with him (one particular friend) this week, which has been great for numerous reasons. But the rest of the time is not necessarily so good. That's really where the roller coasters happen. I don't even understand it... I wish I could tell you more about it, but I'm so confused by this whole thing. I'll post later this week with a Thanksgiving theme...